My biggest problem with the patriarchy is how they want me to choose between self identifying as intelligent versus how I look. As though I cannot be a well rounded, intellectual human being who also happens to look like a sex doll. Society says I have to be sexy or intelligent, but in now way can the two characteristics coexist in a person without demeaning the idea of being a man. Which is hilarious because it is the man who is typically the one note character, looking for ways to diminish the natural effervescence of a woman so that can he maintain power and control over her.

While I am on the topic, I wouldn’t know I was a sex doll if men didn’t constantly drop in and remind me who I am based on how they see me. They do this to fortify their own agenda in controlling not just how I think but how I look at myself , initiating a doubt that the two parts, intellect and sexuality, cannot in anyway work together for a common good: helping myself and furthering my interests.

Because women have been spoon fed the importance of  being demeaned as the the quickest path to achieve being a “cool girl” we are constantly willing to engage in the stripping down of who we are into fractions. This allows men the opportunity to make us whole with their approval and we allow this. Can you fucking believe it? But anyone alive can see that women are born whole, and deconstructed upon the arrival of puberty, so that they may, on some level, always be controlled by the opinion of the patriarchy. And society spoon feeds us this bullshit as a sort of ethics of being a woman, as though masculinity is not exemplified by these very characteristic that make women incomplete, not deserving of love and worst of all whoreish.

Anyways, I am all things. I’m crazy and intelligent and sexy and sexual and impatient and powerful. And that power is derived from the dual nature of who I am, which is something men struggle with at their most base level of existing because they are supremely one note. When I ask for equality, it’s not because I am struggling to know who I am. I am very secure in who I am because I have spent the time developing the parts of my personality that I have been told to suppress: all the masculine characteristics that remind men they aren’t as good at being a man as I am. Because of this, my real struggle is authentically being who I am in the construct of what men need me to be. Simply put, men need me to stop reminding them they’re shitty at being MASCULINE.

 

Gender in terms of masculine and feminine doesn’t even make sense. I am so much better at “being a man” because I am wired that way. I am brash, aggressive, cut-throat-af, willing to be the bad guy and happy to shoot you in the fucking face to achieve a goal. I’m also good at crying, helping, nurturing, loving and looking the way society needs a woman to look. Still, I cannot just erase a predominant part of my personality because it makes a man question if he is really a man. That seems like more of a personal issue that involves a lot of self work that has nothing to do with me.

Because I am “difficult” because I see the double standard. If I use my sexuality to manipulate men, then society says I am the monster. But if I was truly an equal my sexuality would have no power. This catch 22 is why men have worked tirelessly to convince women that they must be exactly everything and nothing. Forcing women to strive for an impossible set of social “norms.” Newsflash: What men don’t want you to realize is the system is rigged. If you play along, you can’t win. If you use your sexuality to get ahead, how fucking dare you prey upon their weakness. It’s impossible to combat this because we really have limited options.

Women are raised to be helpers, to compromise and consider the good of everyone involved. Women care about the community. We are taught this to erase our autonomy, but also so that we will be enemies of each other. If a woman isn’t serving the community, if she is acting like a man then we must single her out and crucify her as though we are the judge, jury and executioner. In this way, men own our gender entirely. It is a brilliant con and as everyone knows, a con cannot exist without confidence. In participating in this social construct, we allow men the power and they give us the confidence to exist.

The only way to fight this, and destroy it is for all women to come together and refuse sex in all the ways with men, as this seems to put the most pressure on their impossible af, primate brains. Either this, or we succumb to this social construct of being supporting characters because as it is, we are not people, but worker bees who happen to also be objects of desire.

Because my body became sexualized at an early age I became very aware of men and the games they play with women. I can tell you with supreme authority, if Donald J. Trump could fuck his way out of his problems, he would have done it by now. Men always try to, but cannot because dick is not a commodity. It’s disappointment wrapped in dirty blue jeans mostly. Men. If you’re so god damn brave, stop sending out dick pics and pushing your agenda of power. Stop wearing pants.

By doing this, you’ll let the whole world know your value be it 3 inches or 10 inches of rock-hard-manhood. Yes. I am suggesting you really BE the man your genetics determined you to be by letting the whole world know your worth from a biological standpoint. As a gender, you have taken great pains to secure the secrets of your pathetic anatomy while exploiting mine, and I think it’s time to put everything on the table. That is, of course, if you’re brave enough to live in the transparency of modern women.

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